There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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