So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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