fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
