It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
