I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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