OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize