Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
