i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
