i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
