Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize