Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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