You're my little dorito
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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