Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
