Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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