I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
