I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize