Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
ugly people sure do ruin things
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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