i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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