respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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