I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize