Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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