dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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