is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
