I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
