There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
