Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you didnt know i had herpes?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
