Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Plan B is the new Plan A
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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