This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize