i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
