You really coming over, don't trick.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
