do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize