i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
