if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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