i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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