i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
