Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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