I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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