I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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