It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
