I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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