My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
