...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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