JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
