it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize