i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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