That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
