I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
