before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
