And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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