My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I would fuck him just for his dog
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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