How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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