You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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