I want to walk on stilts...naked
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize