white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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