She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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