You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize