they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
