i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
