just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize