Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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