Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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