i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
