Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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