Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
