Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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