Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
