Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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