Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
