Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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