every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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