lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
