The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
