I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
