I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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