Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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