The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
